Are you there Chelsea? It's me, Ursula

So I made - or rather, kindly asked - my beau to add the E! network to our (lengthy) list of channels so that I might be able to watch my new girl crush, Chelsea Handler, on a nightly basis. For those of you living in a cave (kidding), Chelsea (we're on a first-name basis now) hosts a half-hour, night-time entertainment show called Chelsea Lately and is the only woman, other than Joan Rivers, who has ever done so.

CL has become my touch point. In addition to watching it dare I say religiously I now also watch her half-hour... ummm... docu-drama (ha!) After Lately which airs, ironically enough, BEFORE Chelsea Lately on Monday nights.

Not satisfied with my daily Chelsea intake, I have also been known to read her books, listen to her radio interviews (with Howard Stern, for example) and watch her interviews, with David Letterman (the one where she infamously called him a small man), Oprah Winfrey and even Katie Couric.

Zach Galifianakis should definitely get her between two ferns if he hasn't already done so. 

I predict that Chelsea is going to give the usual night-time boys club a run for its money and take over for Jimmy Fallon, after he takes over for Jay Leno. Mark my words. 

Maybe. 

PS. Love the new vampy lipstick.

PPS. If you ever need another nugget, I'm available.